I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
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