Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
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