my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
