he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
