How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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