They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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