butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
