38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
