i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
