And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
