I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
