I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
