it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
