And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
