thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I would fuck him just for his dog
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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