We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
