We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
