I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
