I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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