(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
