Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
