I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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