So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
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