clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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