but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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