why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
