Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
