I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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