she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
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Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
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Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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