So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize