I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book