My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.