he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
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You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
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It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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