so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.