I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing