I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
