this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you traded sex for a burrito?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
