I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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