shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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