Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
