We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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