you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize