I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
