a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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