Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
