It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
