but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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