whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
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He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
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90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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