Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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