So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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