its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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