Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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