I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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