all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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