My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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