I have demons in me.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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