she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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