So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
