It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
