I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
