I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My cat gives me a boner
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
