i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
