i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
