I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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