She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
